Friday, January 16, 2009

Pop a what?

So for one of my jobs, I work at a chain we will call "Papa Juan's." You know what I didn't know? Papa Juan is a butt pirate. A turd surfer, if you will. (I made that one up. Please feel free to use it if you like it.) But yes, according to my sources who know the guy, Papa Juan is a total dooky donger. I don't give a damn one way or the other, but I decided to fuck with the other guys at work tonight.

With our new found knowledge of Papa Juan's preferences, I started pontificating to the other guys at work.

I said, "Have you guys thought about the fact that we are making money for a man just so he can stuff it into other dude's g-strings? Yes, we are responsible for this. Every weird fetish that this Papa Juan character might have is only made possible because guys like us work for him and make him rich enough to be as super-gay as he feels like.
For example, say Papa Juan picks up a street tranny and pays him to suck his dick while he punches him in the face and calls him names. Do you know who made that possible? We did. Without us, he has no money. So in a way, we are enablers, or maybe the word is "engayblers." I'm just saying, if Papa Juan ever gets AIDS, it's sort of our fault. I hope you guys can live with yourselves. Ya'll disgust me. You guys are more disgusting than the stuff Papa Juan probably does on a Saturday night."

I'm funny.

Please feel free to make Papa Juan's jokes, now that you've been told that he is dude dude doo doo dude. If you need help getting started, I suggest making a play on words with "Papa's Sweet Treats." G'day, you readers


  1. I always thought that sauce tasted weird...

  2. Paragraph two - freudian slip. Advise you to change the name to protect yourself from potentially litigious people named John.

  3. Thanks, I fixed it. I would not want him to give me a shakedown.