Monday, February 2, 2009

Pornapple Express

You know a girl is really cool when you have this happen:

You invite her over for an evening together. You have food ready that you made for her. You have some of her favorite drinks ready for her. And then you also have a movie ready for her that you know is her style.

As you pop the DVD into your laptop (because that's how you classy folks watch movies), she sits back staring at the screen waiting for the movie to start, while you are scrambling around on your knees on the backside of the PC trying to get your bad ass stereo system hooked up to make the movie sound that much better (Because we all know it's the sound that makes the movie?) So while you're hooking up the Alpines, she starts laughing her ass off at the screen, and you're like, "Oh, no what? Has the movie already started before I got the sound hooked up?"

And she is still laughing and answers you with, "Ha! Ha! Not unless Pinepapple Express is some Mexican chick riding some dude's pole in a reverse cow-girl position!" And then you come around to the other side to see exactly what she said you would see, and you realize that your computer has a wicked since of humor and is totally fucking with you for laughs, and has decided not to play your Redbox DVD like you told it to, but something you must've spanked a monkey to one time, and don't even remember doing. She's all laughing and saying, "So you have a thing for Latino chicks?" And I you're all like, "No, I have a thing for "whatever chick isn't the previous chick chicks." Haven't you ever heard of me? I'm called "a guy."" If it's new, it will do.

And you don't even save porn on your computer! Where the hell did that shit come from? You're sure it was once yours, no doubt, you were just sure that you always returned all your used stuff back to the internet for some other guy to use. At least Girl laughed at your pornographic mishap. And then you debated which movie would be more fun to watch.

BTW: I highly recommend Pineapple Express. Why did so many people say it was just "OK." I loved it, and I was mostly sober. I laughed the whole time.


  1. Too funny! I've heard a lot of good things about Pineapple Express. We'll have to check it out.

  2. OMG... That is freaking hilarious! Might have to check that one out!

    Hugs - Tiff